The Best Way to Teach Modesty

My wife shared with me last year a post from a missionary’s wife from Tanzania who wrote on her Facebook page after coming to the states on furlough. Her post said, “I asked [my five-year-old daughter] to tell me something that she noticed different between America and Africa. The first thing she said… ‘Here I see immodest people.’” Wow, what an observant 5-year-old! Modesty is an issue that needs to be discussed and put into action in our homes. It is high time we take a stand for modesty! Modesty for God is not a neutral issue. It is a very forthright, Biblical issue that needs to be addressed at least a couple of times a year in our homes and congregations.

Let’s seriously consider the following verses:

• “Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control” (1 Timothy 2:9).
•  “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves.” (I Peter 3:2-5).
• “Blessed are pure in heart for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8).
• “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19).
• “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).

Knowing what God thinks about modesty and purity, is it safe to say that television shows that have running themes of sexuality, immodesty, and adultery are against God’s will? For example, do we think that Jesus would sit on our couch with us on a weeknight and watch shows like The Bachelor, Dancing With the Stars or Desperate Housewives with all the nakedness and suggestive, sexual content those shows contain? Would it be safe to say that one would be setting himself up for spiritual failure to mentally digest the immodesty and immorality on those shows? Romans 13:14 says, “But put on theLord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” Many televisions shows/movies, billboards, half-time dance shows, and public beaches or water parks are places that (at least most men would admit) gratify the natural desires of the body. God is not pleased when we put ourselves in situations that make provisions for the flesh.

Immodesty is the gateway to sexual impurity. Certainly that does not necessarily mean that every male or female who is immodest is trying to advertise themselves in a sexual manner. However, it does stand to reason that if a young woman is trying to impress God and not others, then she will strive with all her heart to dress in a godly, respectable way, especially if she has been encouraged by a godly woman not to wear certain shirts or shorts that reveal too much skin, come up too high or too tight.

Here are some questions that Christians (especially parents) need to ask themselves:

• Am I striving to fully honor God with my body?
• Am I representing Christ with my dress?
• Am I examining my clothing and my heart on a constant basis?
• Am I thinking of how my dress affects or tempts others?
• Am I keeping my mind on heavenly things or worldly things?

The bottom line is this; modesty is not merely an issue of clothing or the body. It is primarily an issue of the heart. That is why we, as parents, need to train the hearts of our children at an early age. About a year ago while summer was winding down, my family and I were at a family reunion at a state park and we let our children go swimming since our family members were the only ones there. My 9-year-old son came running back and said, “I can’t swim here.” “Why?” asked his mother. My son replied, “Because the women lifeguards are so inappropriate with what they are wearing.” Even children can be trained with what clothing is appropriate or not. We must understand that modesty does not come naturally. It must be taught and LIVED before our children. They must see their mom and dad dress modestly. They must see their dad turn his head when an immodest woman, commercial, or billboard comes into view. Seeing us live modest lives will impact them more than the words from this article.

One last thing. I want to really encourage the fathers who read this to take the lead. Make the call with what your daughters wear. Set the standard in your home. Be intentional about where you let your eye gaze. Talk openly with your boys on a continual basis. Let God use you to lead your family to live modest lives. Remember, the pure in heart will be blessed by getting to see God!

By Steven D Minor

Steven is been married to Stephani Minor and they are blessed with three children named Micah, Mason & Makenna.