6 Proverbs on Parenting

Aside from the Bible itself, the primary teachers children are given for religious instruction are their parents–not their preacher, elders, youth minister, or Sunday school teachers. Parents must instruct their children in God’s ways, especially the father. God’s Word is what gives us the wisdom and instruction to fulfill this responsibility well. Consider the advice offered by these 6 proverbs on parenting:

1. “A righteous man who walks in his integrity— How blessed are his sons after him” (Proverbs 20:7)

If you want to start your children off on the right foot in life, live a life of integrity. Integrity will serve them better than an Ivy League college degree and benefit them more than inheriting millions of dollars. This all starts with you. Their life of integrity starts with your life of integrity. Set an example by doing the right thing regardless of who is watching over your shoulder. By telling the truth even when its difficult. By sincerely apologizing when you have made a mistake. Such godly examples will give them an advantage in life.

2. “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6)

This has become the most popular go-to verse for encouraging Biblical parenting and for good reason.

This verse encourages us give the training that will make a child accustomed to a certain way of living. A child needs to be raised in an atmosphere that gets them used to and accustomed to Godly living. It involves appropriately disciplining a child when necessary as well as setting an example for them.

This verse also encourages us to give individual attention to each child. Allowing that some children have different abilities and temperaments than others. Disciplining and training techniques may need to vary from child to child. The Hebrew word for child can refer to children anywhere from babies to teenagers so it is not too early to start nor should we give up too soon.

Finally, the verse encourages us to allow help our children succeed in the path they have chosen. Whatever career they have chosen should be encouraged as long as it is conducive to a godly lifestyle. Most of the time, children raised in an atmosphere where they have become accustomed to godly living will not depart from that path.

Remember, however, the proverbs speak in generalities, not guarantees. Many parents have tortured themselves needlessly wondering what they have done wrong when they may not have done anything wrong at all. Some children simply will not listen to their parents or allow themselves to be trained (Proverbs 13:1, 17:21, 30:11). Even the best training cannot instill wisdom, it can only encourage the choice to seek it. If the child is neglected or left untrained, though, there is little hope they will choose the right path. We must devote ourselves to the training of our children.

3. “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently” (Proverbs 13:24)

There is this idea floating around that you should “love” your child too much to discipline them. Wisdom tells us it is the other way around. A parent that does not discipline their child does not love them because they are not seeking what is best for them (cf. Hebrews 12:7-10). It is easier in the short term, but heart-wrenching in the long term.

You may have heard that “spare the rod, spoil the child” is not in the Bible, but this verse comes pretty close. This verse definitely supports what is called corporeal punishment, but notice that it is an action that stems from love, not anger and is for the purpose of discipline not revenge. Proper execution of such discipline whether physical or verbal requires a parent emotionally controlled and fixed on the purpose of teaching. If it is done in anger or for revenge, it will not train the child, it will only hurt the child. Control is kept by exercising discipline promptly before the situation gets out of hand. Initially, a parent may not be bothered by a child’s unruly behavior or they may be too lazy to do anything about it at the early stages. If the child is allowed to disobey or misbehave beyond a parent’s patience, however, anger will flare often resulting in yelling and screaming that will do more harm than the discipline ever would. The solution is to discipline before this happens.

4. “Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol” (Proverbs 23:13-14)

The discipline promoted in the Bible is not life threatening, it’s life-saving. Sometimes a child begins heading down a path leading to spiritual destruction or physical destruction and needs to be straightened out. The rod was the tool for straightening (cf. Proverbs 22:15). From this proverb, it seems even in ancient days some would withhold discipline because they feared hurting the child–they were not all that different from us. Striking with the rod, however, was never intended to inflict serious harm on the children. The words of the wise encourage us to love our children enough to give them life-saving training and discipline assuring us it won’t kill them and it will do them good.

5. “Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death” (Proverbs 19:18)

If you don’t discipline your children, you may come to dislike them so much you want them dead. In such cases, a blessing has been corrupted into a curse. The solution is to discipline and teach your children while there is still time to influence them. There is a limited time to discipline your children. Eventually, they will reach an age where discipline is ineffective or they are too far gone and training them seems hopeless. Start now, don’t delay!

6. “The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who sires a wise son will be glad in him. Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her rejoice who gave birth to you” (Proverbs 23:24-25)

It doesn’t matter what career our children have, how much money they make, or how many degrees they have. What is really important is the devotion to God and His ways. If they are seeking the paths of wisdom, we should be glad. If they are seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, we should rejoice in them regardless of what else they are doing with their life.

The Book of Proverbs has much more on parenting that these 6 proverbs. In a way, the whole book is a book of parenting as it is a primarily a father writing to instruct his son in the ways of wisdom. Let us search through and apply the principles of this book to the way we raise our children.

By Jeremy Sprouse

Jeremy has been married to Erynn since August 1999. They are blessed with six children: Jaden, Isaiah, Isaac, Ean, Joseph, and Evelyn. Jeremy preaches for the Patrick St. church of Christ in Dublin, TX and is the author of To Train Up a Knight.